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Adventures in Managing (or How the New York Mets Are Sending Their Fans to an Early Grave)

29 April 2009

So a few minutes ago, blogger buddy Rob, not a Mets fan per se, IMs me. Says the Mets are up in the 9th, tying run on 3rd, winning run on 2nd, with JonahKeri.com-approved ex-Expo Fernando Tatis at the plate. I wasn’t watching the game, so he narrated. Tatis hit by a pitch, loads the bases. A few moments later, he says: “ah, game over on a pop out by someone named Santos.”

For quick background, that’s Omir Santos, a scrubby catcher who couldn’t even hit in the minor leagues, who’s nonetheless become a minor celebrity after recently blasting a grand slam homer for the Metropolitans.

OK, fine, Santos popped out, game over. Only I completely missed the context.

This is an actual IM conversation I had not 30 seconds later with my buddy Seth, a die-hard Mets fan who was agonizing over every pitch of this Mets loss.


Seth: may i offer a pop quiz?
me: shoot
Seth: you are the manager of a baseball team
Seth: this team has blown a 3-2 lead in this game
it is the bottom of the 9th
down 1
bases loaded
2 out
you have a choice
me: OMIR SANTOS!!! (Ed note: At this point I thought Manager Jerry Manuel had blown the game by not pinch-hitting for Santos. Nope. It was MUCH worse than that.)
Seth: WHAT THE FGUCKING FUCK FUFCSKC
I can’t evne type i’m so angry
me: Who was on the bench? Sheff?
Seth: no, no one
castillo and delgado
both hurt
me: Oh
Well then…what?
Seth: but castro was 2-4
with an rbi
and has the added advantage of not being a career minor leaguer
with a .650 career MINOR LEAGUE ops
me: WAIT
They pinch hit Santos for Castro?!
Seth: yes.
that is exactly what happened.
me: Santos a LH batter? (Ed note: Santos is so crappy that even a certified seamhead like me isn’t sure of his handedness.)
Seth: nope
oh!
also!
santos was in the bullpen
catching
me: COME ON! YOU’RE LYING!
Seth: so didn’t even like, run a sprint or take a practice swing.
god i wish i were
it took 3 min to do the substitution
because he had to take his gear off and run in from the outfield
i don’t think i even could make this up
Seth: if i’m ramon castro right now, i’m the angriest person ever
Seth: 650 CAREER MINOR LEAGUE OPS!
he hits one grand slam and all of a sudden he’s carlton fucking fisk.
i almost always a) have patience with managers and b) give them the benefit of the doubt.
jerry manuel should be fired. today.
i am actually eating the stressball in my office.
i think i need a doughnut.

So…2009 season going great so far for Mets fans, yes?

6 Comments leave one →
  1. 29 April 2009 6:09 pm

    Good lord. And I thought dealing with Trey Hillman was bad…poor Mets fans.

    I might head out and buy stock in as many blood-pressure medication companies as I can. I get the feeling Mets fans will make that market explode.

  2. chinoalfonz permalink
    30 April 2009 4:16 pm

    So in a month when the Mets fire Jerry, who would you replace him with?

  3. Jonah permalink*
    30 April 2009 4:33 pm

    The answer to any “Who would you want as manager?” question is always Davey Johnson.

    • sethuel permalink
      30 April 2009 5:05 pm

      Actually, the answer is Bobby Valentine.

    • sethuel permalink
      30 April 2009 5:07 pm

      In all sincerity though, I’ve always liked Ken Oberkfell. He always seemed to get a lot out of his minor leaguers (at least prior to this year), and he’s already got a relationship with Wright and Reyes.

      I wouldn’t be surprised if they made a move for Acta though, considering how much Bernazard loves him. Gotta love a manager who reads BP.

  4. chinoalfonz permalink
    30 April 2009 5:13 pm

    Davey. Bobby. Ken. I like all those choices.

    I think the Mets need to hire a boozin, cussin type to be their coach. Put a fire under the teams ass.

    My vote is Wally Backman. Unless it’s possible to choose from the fictional world then I’m 100% voting for Jimmy Dugan.

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