Adventures in Managing (or How the New York Mets Are Sending Their Fans to an Early Grave)
So a few minutes ago, blogger buddy Rob, not a Mets fan per se, IMs me. Says the Mets are up in the 9th, tying run on 3rd, winning run on 2nd, with JonahKeri.com-approved ex-Expo Fernando Tatis at the plate. I wasn’t watching the game, so he narrated. Tatis hit by a pitch, loads the bases. A few moments later, he says: “ah, game over on a pop out by someone named Santos.”
For quick background, that’s Omir Santos, a scrubby catcher who couldn’t even hit in the minor leagues, who’s nonetheless become a minor celebrity after recently blasting a grand slam homer for the Metropolitans.
OK, fine, Santos popped out, game over. Only I completely missed the context.
This is an actual IM conversation I had not 30 seconds later with my buddy Seth, a die-hard Mets fan who was agonizing over every pitch of this Mets loss.
–
Seth: may i offer a pop quiz?
me: shoot
Seth: you are the manager of a baseball team
Seth: this team has blown a 3-2 lead in this game
it is the bottom of the 9th
down 1
bases loaded
2 out
you have a choice
me: OMIR SANTOS!!! (Ed note: At this point I thought Manager Jerry Manuel had blown the game by not pinch-hitting for Santos. Nope. It was MUCH worse than that.)
Seth: WHAT THE FGUCKING FUCK FUFCSKC
I can’t evne type i’m so angry
me: Who was on the bench? Sheff?
Seth: no, no one
castillo and delgado
both hurt
me: Oh
Well then…what?
Seth: but castro was 2-4
with an rbi
and has the added advantage of not being a career minor leaguer
with a .650 career MINOR LEAGUE ops
me: WAIT
They pinch hit Santos for Castro?!
Seth: yes.
that is exactly what happened.
me: Santos a LH batter? (Ed note: Santos is so crappy that even a certified seamhead like me isn’t sure of his handedness.)
Seth: nope
oh!
also!
santos was in the bullpen
catching
me: COME ON! YOU’RE LYING!
Seth: so didn’t even like, run a sprint or take a practice swing.
god i wish i were
it took 3 min to do the substitution
because he had to take his gear off and run in from the outfield
i don’t think i even could make this up
Seth: if i’m ramon castro right now, i’m the angriest person ever
Seth: 650 CAREER MINOR LEAGUE OPS!
he hits one grand slam and all of a sudden he’s carlton fucking fisk.
i almost always a) have patience with managers and b) give them the benefit of the doubt.
jerry manuel should be fired. today.
i am actually eating the stressball in my office.
i think i need a doughnut.
–
So…2009 season going great so far for Mets fans, yes?
Tags: Baseball, Carlton Fucking Fisk, Fernando Tatis, Jerry Manuel, MLB, New York Mets, Omir Santos, Ramon Castro, Simultaneous sympathy and uncontrollable cackling
You can comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.
29 April 2009 at 6:09 pm
Good lord. And I thought dealing with Trey Hillman was bad…poor Mets fans.
I might head out and buy stock in as many blood-pressure medication companies as I can. I get the feeling Mets fans will make that market explode.
30 April 2009 at 4:16 pm
So in a month when the Mets fire Jerry, who would you replace him with?
30 April 2009 at 4:33 pm
The answer to any “Who would you want as manager?” question is always Davey Johnson.
30 April 2009 at 5:05 pm
Actually, the answer is Bobby Valentine.
30 April 2009 at 5:07 pm
In all sincerity though, I’ve always liked Ken Oberkfell. He always seemed to get a lot out of his minor leaguers (at least prior to this year), and he’s already got a relationship with Wright and Reyes.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they made a move for Acta though, considering how much Bernazard loves him. Gotta love a manager who reads BP.
30 April 2009 at 5:13 pm
Davey. Bobby. Ken. I like all those choices.
I think the Mets need to hire a boozin, cussin type to be their coach. Put a fire under the teams ass.
My vote is Wally Backman. Unless it’s possible to choose from the fictional world then I’m 100% voting for Jimmy Dugan.