Hockey Playoff Pool, Bacon n’ Maple Syrup
After 12 years living south of the Universal Health Care/Right To Bear Arms Line, I finally took the plunge and did something I haven’t done since college. No, not pass out from Jagermeister shots. A hockey playoff pool!
Competing against 11 very capable hoser buddies who no doubt still play shinny even in July, I figured I’d give it a go. I was a little disappointed to find out the draft was online, rather than us shouting picks to each over the phone, trash-talking and reminiscing about the time we all made a bet on who would score an overtime goal in a Penguins vs…someone game. My buddy Brian won, and he insisted on collecting his prize in the form of a really tall glass of milk with his 3 am post-night out breakfast at Picasso’s (a late-night diner/dive that’s so crummy I couldn’t even find a proper review for it) in Montreal. Brian, naturally, named his team PlayoffMilk for the return engagement of the old playoff pool this year.
Anyway, I could bore you with my stories of how I always ordered the #3 (French toast, two eggs sunny side up, ample bacon, potatoes, and a side of rye toast) and how I mastered the art of using my bacon as a ladle for the leftover maple syrup on my plate post-French toast….or I could show you the team I drafted. It’s quite possible that the number of hockey nuts reading the blog does not, in fact, surpass the number of people who want to hear drinking stories from when I was 19. But here’s the roster, at any rate:
Nabokov (SJ)
Setoguchi (SJ)
Recchi (BOS)
Pavelski (SJ)
Clowe (SJ)
Ryder (BOS)
J. Staal (PIT)
Vlasic (SJ)
McDonald (STL)
Kobasew (BOS)
My team drafted 5th, so I just missed the PIT big 2, Alex O and Joe Thornton. There were 12 of us, so we drafted 10 rounds = 120 players. No position restrictions (meaning you could take as many or as few Ds and Gs as you wanted). 1 point per goal, 1 point per assist, 2 points per goalie win.
If the Sharks win the Cup, I pretty much win. Of course my 12 years away from la belle province and my general inching away from hockey over the years must have blinded me to the fact that the Sharks may be the biggest chokers in pro sports, and that no amount of regular-season success should ever prompt anyone to back them in any way in the postseason.
So I’ve got that going for me. Which is nice.
Tags: Bacon-based utensils, Go Habs Go, Hockey, Jagermeister, Jaromir Jagr Playoff Milk, Maple syrup, Montreal, NHL, Picasso's, San Jose Sharks
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16 April 2009 at 8:38 am
Two things:
1) So I was eating a Pop Tart while I read your bacon maple syrup ladle story… yeah… I am not very happy at the moment. I’d settle for some paper-thin, flavorless Denny’s or IHOP bacon at the moment, but even that’s not going to happen…
2) The Sharks are indeed legendary chokers in the playoffs. Their entire existence has been like having a team of Curtis Josephs — amazing in the regular season, fold like a lawn chair under pressure in the playoffs. But thankfully they finally at least have a different coach behind the bench this year. If you’re lucky, that will be enough to push them over the top. That’d be good for me too, actually. One of my good friends lives in the Bay area and is a diehard Sharks fan. If they melt down, I’m going to hear about it. A lot. (Doesn’t stop me from rooting for the Pens though!)
16 April 2009 at 11:56 am
Drunked college story, Stanley Cup pool, and a Caddyshack quote at the end? This might be the best blog post EVAR! If only you had drafted a few Blackhawks…
16 April 2009 at 3:28 pm
Thanks!
Wanted to take a Hawk or two, certainly the Bulin Wall, but they went off the board surprisingly quickly. It was interesting to see which teams got attention and which didn’t. My Andy McDonald was just the 2nd of 2 Blues to go, for instance. That’s a sign of universal faith in Luongo, I guess…the Blues struck me as an interesting sleeper team. If they keep scoring one goal a game, though, not so much.
16 April 2009 at 10:53 pm
Well I’m a hockey nut ( as you can tell from my blog. Yes that’s a shameless plug) so count me in.
Hitching your wagon to the Sharks in the playoffs seems a bit crazy to me, but then again you’re the Canadian, not to mention the guy who worked magic with the Expos, so I defer to you.
17 April 2009 at 8:38 am
…or so maybe I was wrong about the Sharks turning the corner and finally showing some mental toughness in the playoffs. Well, best of luck anyway, Jonah. How about a Fresca?