The happiest moment of my life
Every year, I go crazy with anticipation for the annual Simpsons Halloween special. Even during the show’s down years, Treehouse of Horror inevitably produced some great moments. And when the show’s good (as it is again now), there’s potential for lasting greatness. When I heard that one of the three segments would revolve around The Transformers, I became exponentially more excited. My three favorite pastimes growing up were (and let’s face it, are) in no particular order, The Simpsons, The Transformers, and the Montreal Expos.
Upon first getting word that the Robotrickim and Shakranikim (Autobots and Decepticons, in Hebrew…you have no idea what a nerd I am) and company would join Bart, Homer and the family in some kind of spooky adventure, I told my buddy Jon: “If the Expos are somehow involved, that’s it, nothing will ever get better than that.” Ha-ha, right? What possible use could The Simpsons’ writers have for a team that’s been defunct for four years?
Cut to the opening of The Transformers segment, which was in fact the first of the episode. Bart is Christmas shopping for Lisa, and sees a store called “You Forgot-Me-Nots – The Last-Minute Gift Store”. Upon walking in, Bart discovers a 99-cent discount box. In it he finds the following items:
–Somber String, a take-off on Silly String featuring a picture of a kid hanging himself
–Jacks with no ball
–Slunky, a take-off on Slinky with the slogan “It Doesn’t Do Anything”
and…
A Montreal Expos jersey.
My jaw hit the floor. After the shock wore off, I paused my TiVo and did a mad, celebratory dash around the house, scaring the bejezus out of the poor cat.
In retrospect, I should have seen this coming. There’s a random scene in an episode a few years ago where Bart and Milhouse are playing sandlot baseball against each other, and they’re imagining themselves as major league ballplayers. Not Pedro Martinez or Ken Griffey Jr. or anyone famous, though.
Bart: “I’m Tomokazu Ohka of the Montreal Expos!”
Milhouse: “And I’m Esteban Yan of the Tampa Bay Devil Rays!”
There can be no doubt. One of the writers on The Simpsons is clearly one of the other 19 Expos fans still in existence (16 of the others are my friends, one is obviously me, and the last one is Brad Wilkerson’s dad). The clincher is the way Bart pronounces Montreal in the episode as “MUN-treal.” Only a Montrealer, or someone who’s a huge fan of the city and/or the team, pronounces it that way.
Given past precedent, then, logic would dictate that seeing a Montreal Expos jersey in a Simpsons episode about The Transformers is not, in fact, the most divine, most serendipitous moment in the history of mankind.
I prefer the alternate explanation: The gods have granted me the gift of comedy perfection, a moment that ties together the three great loves of my life. I will never know happiness the way I do right now.
(This just in: Wife just filed divorce papers. With prejudice.)
OH MY GOD.
I think you may need to go buy a lottery ticket or something because the heavens are SERIOUSLY smiling upon your countenance!
YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like I’ve already won the lottery. What are the odds of winning twice?!
I’m not sure how you should react to this. On the one hand, this is the pinnacle of awesomeness. On the other hand, this theoretically means it’s all downhill from here, right? I think you need to somehow come up with something that would top the Simpsons/Transformers/’Spos trifecta. What was the next thing on the list? Well, wait, now that I think about it, I guess maybe convincing Angèle to not pack her bags would give you something to strive for. See? It all works out in the end!
And for the record, I am highly disappointed personally. I was unable to really see the Simpsons last night since I took an unexpected trip to Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner with my friend, his girlfriend, and her untolerably evil best friend (UEBF). Our waitress was very cute, but very bad at her job, which led to high levels of friction and discomfort between her and UEBF. The Simpsons were on one of the TVs, but it was muted and there were no subtitles, so I basically had no idea what was going on. And because of the drama between the waitress and UEBF, I could barely pay attention to the Pats/Colts game even. So because I didn’t actually plan on going out last night, I didn’t get to DVR either. Grr.
my usual source for Simpsons web-viewing is down so I havn’t seen this one yet..will keep trying! though not sure anything can top the “I’m Esteban Yan!” bit..my buddies and I used to do that when playing hoops. “I’m Bob Thornton, NY Knicks super-sharp shooter!” “Well, I’m Paul Mokeski, Milwaukee Bucks center and ROCK in the lane!”
classic. i only wish i could find the SNL skit with mark grudzialanek
Could it be that the Expos aren’t really as obscure as we think they are?
Naaaaaaah.
a guy at my church- last week- in gilbert arizona rolled in with with an expos cap. i felt like i witnessed sasquatch.