The September edition of Penthouse Magazine…
…contains a five-page article written by your humble author. The article is about my buddy Dave’s bachelor party in Vegas, attended by 13 n’er-do-wells. Shenanigans ensue.
The issue hits newsstands August 12. I’d urge most of you to buy it.
This is different than any kind of writing I’ve ever done, and I’m really curious to hear people’s responses. This has nothing to do with sports or the stock market, it’s not analytical in any way, and involves a fair number of curse words, graphic descriptions and me being prominently involved in my own story–all things I pretty much never do in my regular work.
A few caveats about this article:
1) If you’re a family member, PLEASE DO NOT BUY THIS ISSUE. I’ll tell you the PG-rated version at the next Keri BBQ.
2) Not all of the events in the article are true, or at least not all of them are unembellished.. I’d actually be interested to see if people can distinguish the 100% true stories from the “this kind of happened, but I added some snappy details” stories.
3) The story about me taunting Mike Tyson is mostly true.
My favorite part of the article (I’ve learned not to call it a “five-page spread in Penthouse”, for obvious reasons) is the layout, as well as the illustrations. Penthouse took actual photos of the guys on the trip and distorted them into these crazy caricatures. There’s me putting up my dukes to fight Tyson, Ronen holding up two beers triumphantly over the crowd, Leor looking smug, etc.
But my favorite illustration is the depiction of a magician who showed up at our table at Pure and captured the attention of all the guys and girls assembled there. In the story I never describe the magician’s appearance, so the illustrator has to make up his looks from nothing.
What the magician really looked like: African-American, short, slim, kinked hair
What the illustrator drew: Spitting image of our high school classmate Mark Rabinovitch
Probably the biggest laugh I’ve had all year.
Oh, one more thing. Don’t bother Googling “Keri Penthouse” or any similar search terms. My buddy Lu already did this. The results were ummm…jarring.
Tags: August 12, Mike Tyson, Penthouse Magazine, Vegas
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4 August 2008 at 4:14 pm
Some more caveats about who should and should not buy this issue of Penthouse:
DON’T buy:
–if you are easily offended or upset
–if someone in your house will be upset that Penthouse does not upset you
DO buy:
–if you are interested in a balanced feature on Vancouver’s radical approach to drug policy
–if you are a fan of Don Cheadle
–if you would like to see screenshots of the new Lego Batman video game
–if you appreciate the psychological insights of Dr. Victoria Zdrok (with whom all of my friends were infatuated in college — at the time, she was a grad student in law and psychology and also a Playboy model! c’mon!)
–if you enjoy the aesthetics of the human body (translation: you like boobies)
–if you want to explore the limits of surgical and photographic alteration of the human body
Note to anyone who may have bought Playboys in the past to read Jonah’s baseball articles: Playboy and Penthouse are really not the same. Really really not the same.
Repeat after me: I buy it for the articles.